Oct 1-5th, 2007

JR gets me up early and we leave for radiation treatments.. on the way I tell him how hungry I am and wonder why I can't eat anything. Looking in my mouth ... there is horrible thrush.. I am gargling with salt water but that is doing nothing to keep it away..

I have one more week of radiation and NEXT week I will do radiation and chemo which means I will be done with treatments before the girls birthdays. This makes me very happy. BUT.. the burns on my pelvic and butt area are so bad that they bleed all the time! I have diarrhea 24/7.. taking 16 imodium a day is doing nothing!

We get home and all I can do is go lay down ... JR brings in some gatorade and chicken broth.. I still see NO light at the end of the tunnel. Everything seems SOOO dark! Sometimes I feel like I have tunnel vision.. only keeping my eyes focused on what I have to do and blocking out the rest!

I feel like I'm wasting away. I see my reflection in the mirror and my body looks like the images I saw in the movie Schindler's List... literally you see nothing but bone and skin.. my ribs show..my hips bones.. I hate mirrors and try to avoid them. My hair is SOO thin.. It's not thin enough to get a wig but a lot of my hair has fallen out!

Friday is finally here.. I see my radiation oncologist and he agrees to admit me on Monday for my final round of CHEMO.. my chemo oncologist agrees... This is the first time in WEEKS that I have been excited...