July 2007. I am seeing a physical therapist. She is my friend. She is a ballroom dancer and we have known each other for quite a while. She doesn't understand why the treatments are not working. She has tried EVERYTHING she knows and nothing is working. She sends me to an orthopedic doctor to see if I need an orthotic... or if the doctor can figure out what is wrong with my leg/back. The doctor does scans of my leg and sees nothing wrong. She agrees that an EEG might be necessary to see if something is wrong with my nervous system.

Meanwhile the Martin Center finally calls and makes an appt for a colonoscopy for Aug 10, 2007... the same day as my EEG. If I can't make that appt the next one available is close to the end of August.

By this time not only am I experiencing sciatica pain and footdrop I am beginning to notice blood in my stool.... This only began in late June to early July! The only symptoms I have had are with my leg and back pain!

July is pretty much a wash because I am on such strong pain medication that I am out of it most of the time! Our back-door neighbor's house is quite a distance from us but the wife calls me one afternoon asking if everything is okay. I ask WHY... she says she hears me screaming and wants to make sure NO ONE IS HURTING ME... I tell her about my sciatica pain and then she understands!!

About mid to late July I see my physical therapist and tell her that I understand why people who have chronic pain blow their brains out. I tell her I see "NO LIGHT AT THE END OF ANY TUNNEL"... the pain is here to stay and I don't want to live like this... before I leave the office she makes an appointment for me to see a pain management counselor and after I leave the office she calls JR (my husband) and tells him to get ALL the guns out of the house!! She is worried I make commit suicide! To be honest I had started thinking it would be easier to die..